“Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!”

Yes, the zombies were the reason that I finally read this book.  You read what you want to read –  I’ll stick with the zombies.

This book has everything!

Classic story, clear and concise language, iconic characters, cinematic romance…everything.  AND zombies.

Me loving this book should have been a no brainer (forgive me!).

So, why did I breath a sigh of relief when it was over?  Why didn’t I love this book?

Arg!  The best parts of the book are clearly written by Jane Austin – clear prose, period manners and speech.  The zombies…well they aren’t very interesting and don’t add much to the story. The promise of ultraviolence –  stick to “A Clockwork Orange”.

Sure, Lizzie has been trained in China and carries a katana and has a knife strapped to her ankle at all times.  Sure, her best friend gets infected with the “strange plague” and slowly turns into one of the walking undead.  Sure, the use of a “modesty string” to keep her dress in place with she did a prolonged hand-stand was a cool nod to period. Sure, there are plenty of undead wandering about, looking for brains…

The problem with this book is it is neither romantic nor “ultraviolent”.

Shouldn’t the addition of zombies make everything better?

(Note to self – zombies are not Muppets!)

The zombies are boring.  The violence is boring.

I can’t figure out if it is because zombies don’t lend themselves to page very well (too much time eating brains and not enough time nurturing brains?) Or if Mr. Grahame-Smith had a great idea but poor execution.

This book wasn’t even funny, and really if you can’t scare me, at least make me laugh.

I will not lend this book to a friend.

I can’t wait to see the movie!