Archives for the month of: September, 2013

I got caught up in this whole “how I learned to start worrying and hate online dating”, that I’ve neglected to say anything about all the amazing stuff that has been going on around this place.

The first part of the summer was spent working hard on a school course – trying to what? Better myself? Better my situation? Better get more designations to move up and onto other things?

After that all wrapped up, it was a lot of time out – fondue and beer nights became something of a staple with a dear friend and managed to get out with others for nights away and nights out.

Excellent times – loads of laughter and lots of getting to know new people and connect with them.

Then – a series of miracles.

I think miracles are those things that happen that seem go against the “laws of nature” or are unexplained.

In my life, miracles are when things happen just as I need them too, before I even know I need them.

A friend posted a comment on my blog and it has been about 2 years since I last saw her in person. (Are you reading this right now, do you recognize yourself in my words?) And that prompted this need to be her company again.

And you know. Her timing was perfect – I was beginning to ached from not knowing what was going with this guy and messed up about where it could possibly lead or how it could possibly end. I was mixed up and mortified that someone I hardly knew, someone I barely met, could make me feel so…tense and unsure of myself.

I made a mental to call her as soon as I was home at a reasonable time.

The next day, one of my dear friends came by my desk to drop of a Valentine. He said “I don’t know bex, I saw this and thought of you and figured Friday the 13th was the perfect day to deliver it to you.”

I read the Valentine: If you get attacked by a bear with chainsaws for hands, I hope he stays away from your face…because I think you are cute.

I laughed my brains out and pinned it to my board.

Then, while I was away from my desk, another friend took a post-it and left me a noted that said “I heart you!” – with a kiss and a hug.

Two days later, I got a LinkedIn invite from a friend I haven’t seen in 15 years. 15 years!

I accepted and we are now back in touch.

(You know who you are. Are your reading this right now?)

And you know.

As some parts of my life end, other parts begin again and flourish.

This week was totally focused on the social event of the season – The Wedding.

New dress, new shoes, went out and got my nails done (I’ve already wrecked 2!) and have a hair appointment in the morning.

Oh yes, I went down to make sure everything was all good and the manager of the department asked “So bex, you getting drunk tomorrow night?” When I demurred “Hey, we will just have to see tomorrow night.” I posed the same question and got “Of course!” as the answer.

I’m lucky.

I’m surrounded by people who understand and know me and love me and want to have fun with me.

I’m loved and kept safe by them. I get to laugh and cry with them, I get to be a part of their family and fun times and times of distress.

There is something about people coming back just in time, isn’t there? Those telepathic butterflies that those we love “M’aidez, I need your love and kindness, contact me, come back to me and lend me your strength. Carry me in your heart.”



This post could alternatively be titled “The law of declining returns”.

So here is the how it worked:

He stopped holding my hand and following my car home in his car to make sure I got safely home. When I explained that hand holding was important to me, he scoffed.

Then, he stopped asking “When can I see you again?” as we were saying good-bye and didn’t drive me to my train stop.

When I asked when iIcould see him again, he said “Things are really busy for me right now, I’m not really making plans.”

After an overnight trip together, he insulted my curls, calling them “shaggy” and requested that I wear it straight instead as it looked “more sophisticated”.

Then I didn’t hear from him for 10 days.

When I asked if he was still interested in getting to know me and in the developing the kind of relationship we discussed, he said that he was probably too “jaded” to love me like I deserved, that I had a “kind, gentle, passionate soul” and that he could see us being good friends.

So, my guess is that if I saw him again he would insult my mother, burn my house down, slander my dead dog’s rep, key my car and end up stabbing me 47 times.

So, I declined.

I did exactly what I asked him to do when he was done and said “I’m done.”

I don’t fully understand the law of declining returns. I don’t understand the whole “come on strong in the beginning and treat her worse and worse every time”. I didn’t make demands about not seeing other people, I didn’t even ask. I didn’t talk about introducing him to my friends or family – he did, in the beginning. I didn’t make assumptions about who he was or why he made the choices in his life – he made those about me and my choices, thoughts and feelings.

And what I don’t understand most is when someone offers you an easy way out, a way to be neat and elegant and avoid talking about feelings and motivations and just end it, easily – why wouldn’t someone just take it and get on with things. Why avoid it and leave someone wondering if everything is ok and if you are alive – why not just end it and get on with things.

I want people to take the hurt out of the pain. It is going to be painful, endings are always a bit uncomfortable, especially after trying to get close to someone, but don’t get messy, don’t talk about feelings you don’t have and had no intention of ever nurturing. Don’t insult the Buddhist by talking about their non-existent soul.

I don’t know about this dating thing. I’ve tried it more in the past six months of my life than I have in the past…7 and half years. And I’m not impressed. The lack of civility and decorum, the lack of decency is appalling and sad.

I’m not sure how to negotiate with people out there who are like this, who claim to be genuine and nice and in the end just…aren’t.


Well, look around me. I’m surrounded by people who have that, who love each other honestly and truly and treat each other with kindness.

And that is inspiring.


“The Wolverine” is directed by James Mangold, screenplay by Mark Bomback and Scott Frank, based on characters owned by Marvel Comics.

I’m not sure how I ended up at this movie.

All I can say is that my date and I agreed to see the new Woody Allen movie “Blue Jasmine” before we got to the theatre and when we got there my date started asking about all the movies and somehow decided that we should see this one…this in spite of the fact I said “Uh, I thought we were seeing Blue Jasmine” soooo…

This movie cemented by completely distaste and boredom with the trend of showing fight scenes up close and personal with super-fast cuts – especially fight scenes with swords. The choreography of the fight scenes were completely lost and it was impossible to tell what was going on and if it was interesting or lame.

Attention all directors and cinematographers of fight scenes!! Pull the camera out! Let us see the fighters’ bodies and appreciate how they move through space and in relation to each other. Don’t speed things up to fast or slow things down – let us see it “real-time” and appreciate the fight. Don’t trick up with fast cuts when nothing is happening, keep the cuts to a minimum and give us time and space to see these epic fight sequences. ‘cuz between you and me, I suspect that these epic fight sequences aren’t all that epic at all…

The best part of the film was the “Marvel teaser” during the credits.

Funny, there were only 4 of us in the theatre – my date and I and another couple – the other couple left when the credits began to roll, I sat there until my date said “Let’s go.” I got up and moved extremely slowly down the stairs. Then the trailed started and we watched it. After it was over, my date said “It was neat how they showed that little piece at the end.” I said “Oh, you’ve never seen a Marvel film before, they do that every time.”


Anyway, if you see just this little teaser you will have seen the best part of the film, so skip the rest.



“The World’s End” is directed by Edgar Wright, written by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg.

Well, we were all waiting.

And we got it.

The team that gave us “Shaun of the Dawn” and “Hot Fuzz” returns!

And what a return!

This film features a group of friends re-creating the perfect, unfinished pub crawl of their youth, 20 years ago.

During this epic recreation, the friends unwittingly stumble across an alien plot that sees many people replaced by “robots”.

And it actually kind of works too.


Look. I have a certain about of “willing suspense of disbelief” for these types of movies, but this team, well…this team is better than this one moment of bad science. And the moment they choose to had a bad science moment was so jarring, so horrible, that I just couldn’t enjoy the rest of the film – the writers asked way, way, too much of me to believe in this bad science and the worst is – the whole movie hinges on your believing that this is true and the fact is…it isn’t.

Actually, when my group of friends and I were talking about how much we enjoyed this movie – and we really, really enjoyed it! – I walked away, came back and said “My only problem with the movie was this bad science moment…” and everyone went quiet and then they asked me to explain. Which I did. And then, well, we couldn’t talk about how much we liked the film anymore.

The premise is silly, the actors are incredible – and I don’t think this can be said enough more: Martin Freeman please!!

(Also, I’m sort of in love with Martin Freeman, so if anyone is talking with him, please let him know it is ok to call me!)

But, the bad science comes along and wrecks it.

And, I am along in this or does it suck to see Simon Pegg not being the good, charming guy? I hated that I couldn’t root for him. I heard something where he said he loved this…but…I hated not rooting for him!

The soundtrack to this film is like…do you remember “Gross Pointe Blank“? and how incredible the 80s soundtrack was? Well, this film is to 90s music what “Gross Pointe Blank” is to 80s music, ’nuff said!

Sure, see the movie – don’t be heart-broken when the bad science hits and enjoy the tunes!


“Pacific Rim” is directed by Guillermo del Toro, screenplay by Travis Beacham and Guillermo del Toro with story by Travis Beacham.

I’m late on this review too!

Huge monsters coming through a rift in the centre of the earth and huge human-directed robots to engage them in hand-to-hand combat – this film has everything I look for in a fun time.

Part Godzilla, part Voltron, this movie was all bad science, bad lines, recycled characters and theories half-ripped off from better premises and stories.

I loved it.

I had the misfortune of seeing this movie while on a date and I howled, cheered and laughed my way through while my date watched me in stunned amusement.

I kept getting two of the characters confused and every time Burn Gorman was onscreen I forgot that I was watching a movie and kept expecting to see the rest of the Torchwood cast…and I was totally disappointed when they didn’t appear ‘cuz…there was a rift!

The audience was in full-force too, everyone, but my date it seemed, knew what they signed on for and happily cheered the monsters and robots engaging in hand-to-hand combat, picking each up and throwing down.

Not a film that takes itself seriously or to be taken seriously, it is mid-camp and mostly cheap gags and thrills – but what thrills!

If you can, see this movie in the theatre – although by now on the way out – the monsters, robots and explosions are all big and the characters are broad and ridiculous.

Nicely done.

The Way Way Back is written and directed by Nat Faxon and Jim Rash.


I’m really, really, stupidly behind in writing this review. I really shouldn’t even be writing it, but I feel like…I should write it, I can’t let this be the one movie that I miss writing about, soooooo…

This start of the film messed me up a bit – it looks like it takes place in the 70s, but it is a contemporary film, here and now, only with that theme that is timeless – growing up and growing up awkwardly.

The film was a big muddled in terms of texture – the parts focused on the family were a bit heavy and serious and the parts at the water park were more lighthearted and fun.

The film was at its best when the two collided and the main character, the 14-year-old boy, finds himself putting the lessons he learns from his friends at the water park to work when dealing with him mother and her boy-friend.

I have to tell you Steve Carell was crazy distracting. The last time I saw him on the big screen was in “Searching for a Friend for the End of the World” and he doesn’t look like the same actor – here he is big and buff and…whoa, what happened Steve?! I mean, nice, but…I think he just lost his goof-ball cred.

I don’t recommend this movie, this coming of age thing has been done and done better. The soundtrack, though, is not to be missed – REO Speedwagon? – wow!

Unremarkable cinematography and actors we’ve all seen better from.

Sorry, spend your time and money on something else.