This is a true story. It happened to a friend of a friend of friend of mine.

Wait.

No it didn’t. It happened to me.

I slept into today, which is fine, the morning routine includes 45 min of extra time – I use this time to email, like things on FB and double-check gear if I’m climbing after work. I like mornings. so this extra time makes me feel indulgent and lovely.

But, today I slept in.

So, up late, breakfast, shower and into a summery dress I haven’t worn since early October, but the day is going to be fine, so bring it on, right?

Then I realize, I need a sweater, ‘cuz this dress doesn’t have pockets or a belt where I can attached my pedometer.

Bad news, the sweater needs to be ironed.

Pick up the pedometer, pick up the sweater, put them both down so I can re-adjust my bra strap, pick them both up and –

Wait.

Where is my pedometer?

It was right under my sweater when I put them down.

Look for the pedometer. Lift up the other things on the couch.

No pedometer.

Look behind the couch.

No pedometer.

Lift up the couch cushions.

No pedometer.

I have to iron this sweater so run downstairs, do a quick iron, run back upstairs, maybe I’ll find the pedometer.

No pedometer.

Check the couch again – look behind and under. No pedometer.

Bra straps comes undone.

Shimmy out of the dress, re-do bra strap, do up dress.

Move the couch cushions. No pedometer.

Fold out the fold-out mattress. No pedometer.

Put mattress away.

Bra strap comes un-done.

Shimmy out of dress, re-do bra strap. Do up dress.

Put cushions back on couch.

Hmmm.

Get broom from kitchen.

Lie down on floor and take broom handle and “sweep” it under the couch. No pedometer.

Bra strap comes undone.

Shimmy out of dress, re-do bra strap. Do up dress.

Think.

Think think.

Look behind and under couch again.

No pedometer.

Bra strap comes undone. Shimmy out of dress, re-do bra strap, do up dress.

Ok.

Look in all the other rooms for the pedometer.

No pedometer.

Look in ‘fridge.

No pedometer.

Look in toaster over.

No pedometer.

Back into the first room, where the pedometer was last seen and held.

Look under and behind couch again.

Shimmy out of dress, as bra strap has come undone again. Re-do bra strap, do up dress.

Lie down in front of couch and look under couch.

No pedometer.

Bra strap comes undone.

Move couch and –

What was that ripping sound?

It came from my dress…

Shimmy out of dress, look at dress, can’t see any rips, but, how this day is going, I’m losing this dress in the most public and humiliating way at work today.

Toss dress on floor, get another dress, with a belt, if I find that pedometer.

Do up bra stray, do up dress.

And –

Time to leave for work.

Work, work, work.

I don’t get a lot done today, but I get enough done.

Have several excellent conversations with excellent people and they are all on the look-out for my pedometer.

I’m straight home after work and straight back to looking for the pedometer.

Pedometer!

There it is, pretty as you please. Sitting.

On my dresser.

It was never once on my dressed this morning, so this is a bit of a mystery.

But you know what. I don’t mind at all.

Change out of the dress and into “stay at home clothes”.

I’m on a mission.

Time to clean the room and clean the closet.

Turn the radio up, move the couch several more times, flip the carpet, vacuum everything.

Stuff that is garbage is put in the garbage, other stuff is sorted, filed and put away.

Time to tackle the closet.

I don’t know if you know, but a woman’s closet can be a scary and daunting place. It represents time, money, investments, relationships. It is a record of our changing bodies, styles and tastes. It needs, more than everything, a good editing on a regular basis.

The rules:

  1. Throw out stuff that doesn’t fit, is damaged beyond repair, is permanently stained or that you haven’t worn in 2 years.
  2. Be ruthless – it doesn’t matter how much you love it, you get to keep the memory of it, but get rid of it in reality.
  3. Your style has changed since you bought that, if it doesn’t fit your current style, get rid of it!
  4. You’re older now and should know better – get rid of it.
  5. That thing that friend who doesn’t speak to you anymore talked you into buying ‘cuz it was exactly the kind of thing she would wear? Get rid of it.
  6. Now do the shoes too.

A garbage bag and half of clothes and a garbage bag of shoes.

Which, I realize seem like a lot, but I give my discards room and space to breath.

My newly edited closet offers ease of finding things, extra hangers, sensible organization and a special section for special event dresses. I moved out of season boots and non-work shoes into it as well, so there is more room in the front entryway.

And, as a bonus, I’ve done so much walking about that I must be racking up the steps on the pedometer.

Double check the step count.

Oh.

Not one more step is recorded.

I write down the count, hit re-set and –

Check a couple of hours later – it is still at zero.

Upside: My bra strap stayed done up.

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