Archives for the month of: December, 2010

Happy Christmas!

Fridge is cleaned, floor is swept, sheets are changed, bathroom is cleaned, taxi is ordered.

Family dinner last night with my bro and his family – lovely. I spoiled my niece – unplanned, sometimes these things happen. Got a warning not to do it when she is older.  I can live with that.

I’m off to Jamaica.

Back in the New Year – January 2, 2011.

Thoughts turn to the future.

Hope no matter where you are in the world, no matter what background you are, no matter what beliefs you hold in your heart that you are safe, sound, with those you love and have enough to eat.



Today the first day of my vacation – still here and not gone.

Plans for the day totally ignored in favour of staying home, warm and drinking hot tea. The voice has not yet returned from its wanderings – I hope where ever it is it is having fun.

Good day with me, the radio, chores and laundry.

Mostly packed for leaving on Saturday and realized there is so much I can live without – another pair of shoes, another dress etc. Also realized that this year, my stamina is not up to last-minute tracking down of a netbook to take with me to Jamaica. Oh well, best laid plans and all that.

The upside: I’m mostly packed! Book list is finalized and even though this pesky cold is still here, I’m feeling much better.

Enjoyed the quiet-ness of the day, the staying home, being warm felt decadent in a completely ordinary-world kind of way. Relaxed and mellow.

Tonight – Alan Maitland‘s reading of The Gift of the Magi on the radio!

Finally. I’ve tried to see this movie for weeks.

One of the most interesting historical films I’ve seen in a while, I loved the physicality of the actors.

Colin Firth gives an incredible performance – every move, every breath he takes, totally in character and completely agonizing. He stutters, he stammers, he rolls on the floor, dances, breaths. Probably the best performance I’ve seen him give – is that an Oscar nomination I see in his future?

It is no easy task for someone to “learn” how to stammer – the body completely changes and fights against itself. The mouth struggles, the shoulders clench, the hips tense. Words are enemies. Firth emulated this on-screen. Loved, too, Firth’s absolute commitment to the role.

And Geoffrey Rush! Oh, that you had a better agent who got you roles like this all the time! When was the last time we saw Rush in such an incredible role? Who knows? But this man has so much talent, what a pleasure to see him in a solid film that uses his talents and puts him with equally talented colleagues.

Helena Bonham Carter – I’m biased, she is about my favourite talent out there and when I hear she is attached to a project, I tend to check it out. She proves, yet again, that even in supporting roles, she gives and gives and gives.

It was a complete pleasure to see this kind of talent, this kind of looseness and physical-ness in a historical film – they are usually so stiff and proper and this film is neither.

Loved it!

1:30 pm this afternoon – telling my colleague I will be back in just a moment and – nothing. I smiled at her, she back at me. I tried again – nothing. She laughed, I shook my head and smiled.

Went for a walk and passed the people who I know, everyone calling out my name, greetings. I can’t return any of them. No “hello!s”, no “are you ready for the season?s”, no “you are look great today!s”.

I’ve lost my voice.

Smiling, waving and nodding like crazy!

Answered the phone and let out a series of…squeaks. Lucky for me the person calling knew right away it was me and she started laughing. I tried to tell her “I’m really good. I’m smiling. I just can’t speak.”

Or sing or laugh loudly.

I love to talk. I love to sing. I love to laugh loudly.

My colleague is now calling me “Squeaky”. Which is a side-ways step from “Curly” which is what another colleague calls me. Which is about the same as “Smiley” which is what people around the building call me.

On the upside: perhaps it is time for me to sit down and shut up?

On another upside: I can finally communicate with that door hinge – I’m sure it’s been trying to tell me something.

Here is another: I love hot tea. Now people think I have a reason for keeping for myself!

And another: Hot baths are great for lost voices.

But, if you do find my voice, would you please send it back my way?

And yes, this means tonight’s carol sing is cancelled. Sorry.




Just heard a track from the new Annie Lennox album “A Christmas Cornucopia”. National Public Broadcaster played “Lullay Lullay (Coventry Carol)” and it is wild. Vocal harmonies and drums brought to mind later Miranda Sex Garden.


When Lennox does it I love it, when Miranda Sex Garden does it, all I can think is “Bring back the Madra-days!” Yeah, I do adore a cappella vocals. Especially madrigals.

For the life of me I can’t find that tape I had – I traded a later CD by them for an audio tape of “Madra”. I think both of us thought we got the better deal in that little transaction.

In other news – I hab a code in my node.

No worries, though, people still think I look great. I’m convinced that when I wear the green sweater no one can see me through the green. Someone told me that I looked very “Christmas-y” today. Not sure what that means, perhaps that was a sly reference to Zombie Santa? ‘cuz really, that is pretty what I felt like today. Only less red. And less brains.

I am medicated now.

I mean I took some cold medicine.

The big concern – will I be able to get out of bed to see the eclipse? I sure hope so. Otherwise I’m going to have to stick around here from another 400-hundred or so years…and that means I may have to join the armies of the undead. Bummer.

Indulging in a laundry-Monday! Decadence, I know. But sometimes you just have to go for it.





(with apologies to Robert Herrick)

Finding friends everywhere in the past few weeks and months.

I am a really lucky person.

It blows my mind to know that you are out there, reading me and thinking about these things that slip into my brain, out my fingers and onto screen. That time, space and distance flatten, lose their relevance, when we share this head-space.

I am a really lucky person.

I’ve been thinking about “everything happens for a reason” and “meeting the people who you are supposed to meet” a lot.

I think that the first “everything happens for  a reason” to be mostly bunk. Even if we lack the perspective of the universe and can’t fathom it’s reasons, that there are reasons implies a “reasoner”, which doesn’t jive with me.

I think that we see reasons in retrospect – I agree with the author of “The Black Swan” on this. If I tell you a series of events and then the conclusion, you will create a narrative to help both us understand how I got to the end. Problem is that I don’t live my life, you don’t live your life, in retrospect.  We can link things together, if I tell you these things, but they don’t occur in narrative, we only see them once we get to the conclusion.

The second “you meet the people you are supposed to meet”, I suggest be replaced with “you meet the people you are lucky enough to meet and make the most of” – I meet and connect with the most amazing, interesting people everywhere I go, no matter what I do.

Sometimes I make fun of myself and tell me “This person was just waiting for you! You were meant to meet! You are meant to great friends! Enjoy!!” And this makes me laugh – I love to kid myself.

I am so happy.

If you told me 7 years ago that my heart would have the capacity to feel such joy – I never would have believed you.

The things that happen in my life, the people I meet,we shape each other as we meet and connect and as things happen. We, I, make decisions about whether to pursue somethings/someones and let others fall away. The process, I think, is active. In my life it is active.

It is happening now.

I’m going to cheat and not tell you the people and decisions that brought me here.  You can imagine those things, fill in those blanks, those people and events that may or may not have brought me here. You can imagine me a better fiction than the reality.

I’m putting in a leave of absence request at work to take a year off and visit my excellent friend Phranque in South Korea. I’m going to spend some time and explore that part of the world, see things and meet people.

I am going to change.

I’m also going to stay right here and keep writing, so you will know how The Next Great Adventure is going.

Target date for The Journey Begins: February 1, 2011.



Alternate post title: Things that I forgot to tell you while I was talking  about other things

1. More about seeing Tron yesterday

Saw the preview for “Thor” – decidedly less-lame than I thought it would be. Seriously. I’m going to see this movie.

Best line of the preview: Where I come from science and magic are the same thing.

Next thing line needs to be: It’s called quantum physics.

I’m hopefully some clever wag will put that in. If not, then I’m ready with a shout-out.

Really dig the techno-look of the movie – the Norse pantheon looking like techno-gods is interesting. And I’m so pleased that they haven’t given Thor a Scottish accent, after the “How to Tame Your Dragon” accent thing, I don’t think I could take it.

Also, a trailer for a movie about wrestling robots starring Russell Crowe – don’t recall the name, the people I was with wondered aloud: Movie version of  “Rock’em Sock’em Robots“?!

Totally lame. Even with wrestling robots. Especially the wrestling robots.

Awkward moment – usually I like wresting robots.

2. Current Aural Pleasures

Suddenly, kicked with the urge to hear “Your Woman” by White Town.

I have no idea what this song is about, but when I hear it, I get up and dance – excellent groove, no understanding required. Something about love, probably.

This leads me to Jyoti Mishra‘s new song  “Cut Out My Heart“.

I think Jyoti hit it on the head – Canadians love camp synthpop. I know I do.

Thanks Jyoti!

3. Yesterday’s climb

Lame. Three routes – 5.7, 5.8 and 5.9. Totally mortifying. On top of that, I messed up my left shoulder! Didn’t even push it! Starts at right under the shoulder-blade and goes all the way up to my neck.

This made yoga very challenging this morning. I explained to the instructor, who was very understanding, although I think she got a bit distracted by the “You climb wha-?!” thing.

I climb things, walls mostly, now, back to my shoulder, please? Some good stretches, I was good and didn’t push it, but ow! the pain is going up into my jaw.

Isn’t it amazing how all our body is connected?

The worst is that I’m still working through a long-ago injury to my right shoulder, it is doing some serious healing from about 7 years ago when I messed it up when belaying and my climber had a bad fall. Entire weight on my right shoulder, through the rope.

All the yoga is doing the work, but the healing takes time and the tissues are recovering.

So, if I don’t shrug when you ask me a question, you know what is going on.

*shrug”  –  ow! See what I mean?

Guess who gets a hot bath before bedtime?

4. Pre-review of “The Black Swan”

This book is about neither ornithology nor connected to the current film if the same title.

This book is about unlikely events and how they shape our world.

I’m halfway in and love it. Just finished a chapter about “the narrative fallacy” and nodded so much that I wondering if it wasn’t climbing that injured my shoulder, but my vigorous agreement.

I’m thinking some bubbles, a diamond ring and I will pop the question to this book. I just have to break my engagement with a pair of boots first…



Oh, yes.

Oops! Title of this post should be “Tron: Legacy: Film review”

How silly of me.

Oh, yes!

I’m kidding myself – this isn’t a review, I’m not unbiased, even if this movie sucked rocks I would be saying how amazing it is. It didn’t suck.

It is amazing!

To be back in the world where “programs” walk around with discs on their backs and wear bodysuits with fluorescent stripes is amazing. A world where sometimes you have to fight for your existence by playing a deadly form of frisbee or racing souped-up motorbikes. Where Jeff Bridges is…God?

I have no problem with it.

And how far you’ve come Jeff!

3D wasn’t used to full potential – I don’t care: Tron!

Plot has some holes – who cares! Tron!

Characters were a bit thin – Tron!

Sole criticism, I would have liked one more fight sequence. Wanted to see Tron kick something serious.

It was totally freaky to see Jeff Bridges young! I could have done with seeing the actor who was Tron young too, there was no excuse not to.

And yes, the actors were good. If Olivia Wilde doesn’t watch it, she is going to become a cult figure for the sci-fi crowd. I don’t mean that as warning for her, I mean that as encouragement. Olivia – come over to the Dark Side, we have cookies!

This film knows itself – right amounts of real and pseudo philosophy and science, right amount of romance (read: lightly and mostly implied), subtle sexiness and great fight sequences, very cool art too.

Oh! An afternoon of nostalgia with two very dear friends indulging in a brief return to childhood.

Thank you Tron: Legacy!

It needs to be said – Jeff Bridges can still bring it. Bravo Mr. Bridges, I hope we see a return to more actors of your talent and see you a little more often in the upcoming year.

And hey! Michael Sheen! What a pleasure, what fun! What a surprise!

It was really odd not seeing James Franco in this – I thought he was supposed to be in everything?

And yes, we figured out it was you in the DJ booth, Daft Punk – great costumer design! Great music too, you guys totally bring it.

Nope, not at Tron. Still trying to figure out how that happened.

Truth – happy it did. Spent the evening hanging with my niece – who is, even now, singing to herself instead of sleeping.

Excuse me for a moment.

Ok, she is quiet now, deeply breathing and hopefully, deeply dreaming.

We coloured, ate dinner together, talked about her band, visited the doctor’s office, had a surprise cat wander in for a check-up, learned how to say “sphygmomanometer” and tossed a ball against a wall – which I’m pretty sure isn’t allowed…

She showed me a few interest little tricks – one involving a rather complicated calculation of angles and the other doing a spontaneous seal impression.

She amazes me.

Her eyes are changing – darkening. She looked like me when she was born – same eye colour, same lips, same expressions. Now she looks more like…everyone else in the family. Although her hair colour is now the colour mine was when I was a kid – dark butterscotch. I think her hair with get darker too.

We read a book, lucky for me this time round she opted for one that doesn’t make me cry. Lesson learned from the book: when things don’t go your way, make the best of it. Which is a pretty good lesson, when you think about it.

I certainly did my best with tonight’s plans and I got to hang with my niece instead of sulking by myself at home, wondering why I wasn’t seeing Tron.

Also, plans to see a late afternoon show on Saturday! Very excited! And an old friend of ours is also joining my bro and I to see it. And they are both fine with where I want to sit in the theatre – middle-middle. Seriously, I’ve climbed over seats and bribed people to get my seat. 

When I say “bribed” I mean “threatened”. I’m small, but scrappy.

I also fight dirty.

Which probably makes me something of a failure as a pacifist.

Least I get my seat.

Climbing, for real, in the morning, We will see how it goes. Last time it was so pathetic is was laughable – good brunch though. My climbing partner created an award-winning phrase today: Like a finely honed popcorn maker.

Yes, I gave her the award. It was a metaphoric cookie.

Which is ok, ‘cuz she is bikini shopping after brunch.

 I admit it, I am adamant that she get a bikini. One of those “be proud of your body” things. Every woman has a beautiful body – they just don’t always know it ‘cuz media tells us only certain, specific body types are beautiful. Media lies. Women need to relax a bit and just let themselves be beautiful and be ok with putting their beauty out in the world. Beauty is something for all of us to love and admire.

Everyone is beautiful. We are all unique expressions of the universe. The universe is beautiful.

Trial run of packing for the type this week-end too – making sure I have shoes and clothes and pjs to wear when not on the beach or by the pool. Two more books to get too. And laundry. And a couple of more things for my niece for Xmas – been putting off getting her a copy of “Winnie the Pooh”. What was I thinking? I’ve neglected my duties.

I had a really good hair day today. Big and bouncy and curly. Movie star on Oscar-night hair. I’m sorry I didn’t wear a sequined gown to work – it would have suited my hair far better than the jeans. Actually, I’m sorry that I went to work – I should have called in “Having an awesome hair day, it would be wasted at work” day and hung out at an art gallery , done lunch at that supper club. I’m sure someone would have wanted to buy me drinks all afternoon. No one can resist good hair.

When I start a business, I’m going to make sure that people can call in when they are having awesome hair days that would be wasted at work, I think it is only humane. I’ll have to remember to bring it up at the UN as well, when they invite me to speak. I feel it is only a matter of time.

All caught up on the recent sleep deficit. Tumbled into bed an hour early last night and slept right through to the alarm. Loads of REM, so in spite of my best efforts on Thursday, I learned something. Too bad for me. Usually this isn’t a problem, but what I learned isn’t useful and was kind of gross. There are somethings I just don’t want to know.

I think I’ve almost got a hang of this December thing.

Sorry, I didn’t even say.

Heard the news Blake Edwards died . Long live Blake Edwards!

Mr. Edwards, thank you for the laughs, thank you for loving the world enough to entertain us and thank you for loving Julie Andrews – we all do, but you got to marry her – lucky you!

You made our world a lot more funny with you in it. The world is a slightly less funny place without you.

Thanks, Mr. Edwards.