Early morning arrival

I got a speeding ticket!

It is my first, so although I’m not sure how to feel about that, I am deeply, deeply mortified by it.

When I finally arrived at my friend’s place last night (hi! do you still read my posts – look i’m writing about you – again!) I told her and she laughed and said “Of all people – you?!”

‘cuz she knows I don’t speed. Usually.

I admit, it was late, it was dark and I had just figured out the proper gear for the car and thought I was on the highway. I wasn’t on the highway. I mean, I was, just in the slow section of the highway.

Go figure.

For the record, I got lost 3 times getting here – all right towards the end and all times I realized it right away, turned around and went back. There is an up-side to arriving places super late – not a lot of traffic, so when I need to quickly turn and go back, I can!

See, there really is an up-side to everything…if you just know how to shift your perspective.

There is something incredibly comforting about being in the home of a dear friend who knows you well, isn`t thereÉ

Last night when I arrived, my friend put on all the lights in her place, like a beacon, so I wouldn`t miss it and drive by.  I did miss it and drive by, but that is very much beside the point. She offered to bet her boyfriend that I would get lost getting here and he declines saying it sounded like too much a sure thing…She showed me the essentials before getting back to bed – here is water, here is bread, toaster, glasses etc. Here is the bathroom, that is a shower etc. And gave me the run-down on the doggie.

I woke up this morning, yes I slept in, everyone was gone to work and on the counter – she left out tea and a book called “I am Scrooge – A Zombie Story for Christmas“. See – tea and zombies, I`m totally at home and comforted.

If only I can straighten out where to return this rental car – wish me luck!

 

 

Road Trip!

Up at a nice, normal time, no yoga. I’ve got to get back into practice…

Quick clean of the house, dishes away, vacuum, clean the bathroom and -

I’m off.

But, first I go in the other direction to pick up some roti and curry for my kind host.

Luck is not with me today – I’ve mistimed things! I end up at the restaurant 20minutes before they open for the day.

20minutes early!

What was I thinking?

Oh, right, I wasn’t thinking.

Oops.

Ok, no worries, I brought along a new read so I’m all -

Hey.

Hey?

Hey!

Look at that. The place is open, they opened 20minutes early today!

What is up with that?

No idea, but I think this is an opportunity. An opportunity for me to get the food and then be off!

Ha – this means, this means, that luck is with me today. Who knew?

Have to wait for the roti to be made fresh, I’m ok with that, nothing beats fresh roti, so yes, I’m good to wait.

Conversation with a gentleman who is also taking roti across the province. He is off East, I’m North. We share a laugh over showing up for fresh food to take on a road trip to eat later.

Get my order, chat with the owner (another place where I’m a “regular”) and then, then -

I’m off.

Perfect kind of driving day, not sunny, not hot, not cold, not rainy, a bit cloudy with a few breaks of blue sky.

I’m hard-core today and doing the drive without a stop – should take about 6 hours.

If I do exactly as the map says.

Today, I’m not feeling the news. Bring on the retro-rock.

Turn up the radio.

Drive, drive, drive.

City and 16 lane highway gives way to busy towns and 4 lanes, which give way to townships and 2 lane divided highways, into villages and trees and rocks and undivided highway. Frozen waterfalls and rocks that I think about climbing.

Lose my original radio station and go up and down the dial to find something new, then do it again and again.

I’m making good time.

Play “follow me, I’ll follow you” with a large truck, a smaller car and a mini-van, make a quick stop and fill-up ‘cuz I worry like that.

Get my exits and sing along, singsingsing, happy that no one is around to hear me or even really to see me.

Get a bit muddled one street before I’m almost there and take a left where I should be going straight.

Oops.

Turn back and go the right way.

Over shoot and miss my turn.

Oops.

Follow the street, take a left, follow the street and take a right and go back and find the street.

Go the wrong way -

Oops.

Almost pull into the wrong house and realize my mistake.

Oops.

Turn around and go back in the correct direction and -

I’m there!

I’m here!

Yipee!

And.

Oops.

I guess I want to fast – I’m there almost an hour ahead of schedule.

Oh.

Well.

Lucky me, my friend is here and she is outside hanging with her doggie.

We greet, we settle in and have – you guessed it – roti and curry for dinner. Hmmm, freshness was worth the early detour, tastes great.

We talk each others’ brains out and make a few tentative plans for Tuesday.

She is off to bed and I’m, well, spending time with you.

There is something about the road trip. I mean, I’m not talking in some Kerouacian way, not about “adventure” or “finding yourself” or anything like that. But something just about being out, going somewhere, going away, going somewhere, through the woods, over stream, around rocks, listening to tunes and enjoying the drive.

Good to get the car out and, you know, stretch the legs, you know, feel the road spinning away.

Calm drive, no deep thoughts, just the promise of a good friend waiting at the destination and good food to share.

Kind of a. Is there such thing as a perfect Monday? ‘cuz today may just have been it.

Slow-down Sunday

To sleep late and up late – bothered by a delayed allergic reaction, I think, my throat felt…scratchy from the inside, felt on the verge of closing up at any moment, so kept me from a relaxing kind of sleep.

Wash today and did some straightening up, went for a drive and -

I guess it’s been too long, my steering column in my car felt…stiff. I don’t even know if that is possible, but it didn’t feel the way I remember it…hmmm. I look in the owner’s manual which doesn’t help me at all – flick a couple of switches and yes, I hope for the best.

Spend some time watching some online episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” – which I recently discovered. Yep, that is me, only four years after everyone else, go me.

Packing for the road trip – waking early, doing some last-minute housework and then it is off to Northern Ontario! Yippee!

Powdered sugar

It isn’t powdered sugar.

It is snow.

Again.

What happened here?

It snowed.

Climbing – 6 routes. 3 x 5.9, 2 x 5.9 and 1 x 5.10-

Not bad. Not great, but not bad.

Made clearing the car off very interesting, especially reaching up to clear the roof – ow. In the am I will shovel the drive, again. And then off to yoga.

Shoveling is killing my climbs and yoga. I’m going to start a petition to demand this weather stop. Immediately.

I’m not sure where to send it.

Man, Canadians are just not happy unless we are talking about the weather. Sorry for living down to the stereotype.

Brunch at our fav sushi place – yumyum – excellent and super friendly as always. Free soy beans too. They didn’t even let us order, the waitress smiled and said “I know what you want.” We agreed and said “Miso soup too please!”

Oh yum.

After, visit with two of my fav humans.

What an incredible afternoon-evening. These friends are a couple of my fav people to spend time with. Always learn a few things, always get calm perspectives, always laugh and feel good. That we are all so lucky to have friends like my friends. I wish everyone in the world to have friends like mine.

You can’t have mine. Find your own.

More tears – got some gifts from friends from work who are in other locations. I think someone must have ESP or can read my mind or at least read my shopping list…received a few things that I needed to pick up for the Adventure! Four less things to buy!

Wow.

Did I tell you today how incredibly lucky I am?

We split some new bubbles, so it looks as though that resolution is back on track. I really should write down the names of the bubbles – I can’t remember what they were…hmm. Nope.

Late lunch/super early dinner at…some really awesome restaurant. What was the name? I don’t know! It was excellent. We split some grilled calamari – yum! Is calamari aliens? It looks a little like aliens. I don’t mind, just if I’m eating aliens I’d like to know.

I have the Calabrese Salad ‘cuz I’m still working on eating more tomatoes and cheese, another resolution. I had greens on the side, before you ask.

Main – duck with a side of risotto. Oh, heaven. The duck was  perfect medium rare, why was I asked how I wanted it cooked? Don’t you always have duck medium rare? That confused me, but, you know, nice to be asked. The risotto was lovely, excellent that it kept the warm the way a risotto should.

Risotto. Risotto. Risotto.

I just like saying it. Risotto.

My friends both had fish – she, the halibut – he, the red snapper. Took me a moment to figure out which of the three I liked best – we all had a bite of the other’s.  Seriously Good Fish, perfectly done on both counts and seasoned just right.

Ok, I liked the duck best. I don’t get it very often. Feels decadent.

Used “I climbed this morning” as a good enough excuse to have desert. Strawberry something or other – not the real name, sorry. Lovely. Light, light white sponge cake with some strawberries and creamy filling. Perfect way to end.

I forgot my scarf at the restaurant!

I found my scarf at the restaurant! It was waiting very patiently for me to return to collect it. I have lost/forgotten this scarf ten times now and every single time it comes back/waits patiently for me to find it. Quite incredible. This scarf is one of my best friends. I think it may be an alien.

Would’ve loved to stay there to finish off another bottle and sleep in the guest room. Yoga in the am prevents this kind of behaviour. Too bad for me. One of these days I will. When I get back.

So.

Can’t wait to see them when I’m home!

 

“Definitely winter”

(with apologies to the radio personality who said these words this morning)

Extreme cold weather warning in effect!

Driver’s side car door frozen shut!

High winds! -25 with the wind chill!

No snow!

Is that stuff really salt? ‘cuz it doesn’t look like salt to me…

Made it to work at the usual time – I think everyone else was late, they weren’t on the highway which made my commute sweet as that cookie I had last week. Getting in and out of the car made me really happy that yoga is going so well. Happier that I didn’t wear a dress today…and that I have heated seats. And warm socks.

No snow.

Paid bills, balanced cheque book and on Tuesday – I’m off to the company Xmas party! Only it is called a “Holiday Party”, ‘cuz apparently people like me can’t appreciate or celebrate other people’s festivities. You can celebrate Christmas all you want, just give me some of those cookies and I won’t take any offense. And yes, your lights are rather pretty and that is a pretty snazzy tree, all tarted up like that.

All the people shopping make me a little nervous but if it is all in the name of the economy, then go for it. Be happy – Happy Christmas!

I keep thinking about the trip – can’t it out of my mind! This week: book store to do some serious stocking up. Right now I’m missing some straight up philosophy, so I think there will be some on-the-fly tweaking. Imagining myself on a beach, somewhere else, with a stack of books beside me. Perhaps someone will come by and bring me a fruity drink?

I am nervous about jelly fish.

Most of Monday = downloading and updating computer programs – this makes me feel great ‘cuz then I know what we need to do will work properly, which I really, really like. Quite a process – waiting, waiting, waiting, clicking “I agree”, restarting, checking the program…waiting, waiting, waiting…

Cold weather making me in a cuddle-puss kind of mood, drinking loads of tea and wishing I had some Xmas cookies. Bikini be damned!

Waiting for “Tron: Legacy” is driving me up the wall. My bro can’t see it opening night, so I have to wait one more day! One More Day! If I hadn’t already figured out a good gift for him this year, I swear this one day wait would be it.

Considering seeing the latest “Narnia” movie, the book isn’t my fav, but I feel…invested. I’ve already spent so much time and money with the previous two movies. I don’t think I’m ready to dissolve the relationship. Yet. I’m torn. I think I may end up seeing it, but after “Tron”.

Did I mention? Last week a project that I’ve been working on got some feedback from someone in another department. The feedback: “This is great! I can’t think of anything to add!”

This makes me very sad. I don’t want to wait two weeks for feedback only to hear it is great and there is nothing to be added. That is like saying it is perfect.

It isn’t perfect.

I know there are things left out. I know there is room for improvement. There has to be.

But, no. “Nothing to add.” How demoralizing!

I dub today “Needs Improvement Monday”.

Tomorrow: “Pass me another cookie Tuesday”!

 

 

 

 

Getting lost, getting found

Nervy about traffic for this morning’s meeting, so let the house at half-past stupid this AM.

Dark – flow of traffic moving.

Across the top of the city, exits flying by, out on the other side of the city and then into unknown territory. For me, unknown territory for me.

Took a right when I should have taken a left and ended up going over a very, very small bridge.

Where I am? Where is my map? Where is the sunrise?

Find a forgotten, street-in-progress to turn around and I’m off! Back over the tiny bridge, back to the correct direction.

Two roundabouts without a worry and miss the turn for my destination. Turn around in the mall parking lot, go back and I’m there! Exactly 2 minutes past the time that map said I would be.

And exactly 2 hours before my meeting.

Go for a walk – the rain stopped and the sun looked like it would finally rise. Walked until I was chilly, but not cold, turn back. The restaurant isn’t open, but it looks like the lights are on where I’m going.

Lights are on, no one at work. A place for me to sit, take my coat off and read comfortably. So, an hour and half of reading. I’m making it through the book! It is so funny and insightful – I’m loving it.

Meeting went really well. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to make any kind of valuable contribution, I expressed as much to a colleague last week. We briefly debriefed after and I asked her “Was it useful having me here?” She said “Yes. Did you feel useful?” I did. I really felt useful.

It also appears that I managed to come out with a few interesting tasks. So, I’m not sure exactly what that was about, I thought I was working on avoiding tasks.

Trip home was fast and furious, just on the cusp of bad traffic. Whew! Some days you’ve just got it.

Back to usual stuff on Wednesday and maybe…climbing?

And how about that lunch? Yum-yum!

Random meetings and interesting ideas

Oil change for the car and investigation why only the driver’s side window will go down – yes, that is me for almost two hours at Canadian Tire.

Gentleman strikes up a conversation almost as soon as I sit down for the wait. We chat sporadically, between looking through the windows to where the cars are and me reading that book.

Traded names, what we did as work and what our car’s issues are, functionally speaking here, not like psychoanalytically-speaking.

I admitted to him that I put off the oil change ‘cuz I didn’t want to wait around – Canadian Tire is not really my idea of great place to hang.

Not enough drinks, good, fun times etc. so I have to bring along a book. Not enough things to climb either.

He agreed.

Then we came up with the million dollar idea – automotive centres at Canadian Tire should have a restaurant, bar, hot-line to a taxi company and full spa attached. I confused that if there was a spa for me at Canadian Tire, I would have come in much soon – both me and my car need servicing and detailing!

What a hilarious conversation. We were both laughing so hard that the employees kept looking over at us. Then they made us both wait a while for our respective bills…

And when he left – he kissed my hand. Wow. That was really lovely, what a gentleman! Smooth – I went to shake his hand good-bye and he simply raised it to his lips and *kiss”.

When I woke up this morning, my hand had now idea it would get a kiss. Then again, my hand lacks imagination.

I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. Oh wait, yes I do – yesterday.

Now my car is all changed out with oil and that window problem – there is a “windows lock” button that I had been pressing down. Who knew?

What I learned today: You can have have a lot of fun talking to strangers in Canadian Tire.

What else I learned: Some men still kiss a person’s hand.

Other thing that I learned: I have no objection to being called “Darling” and “Sweetie” by a good-looking man.

 

 

“Because my love for you would tear my heart in two”

(title shamelessly stolen from David Bowie’s “Lets Dance”)

That was me -  crying at my desk this afternoon. Sobbing and wishing for different words, different news. Yep, me.

And yes, that was my dear friend, on the other end of the line, being a cucumber, explaining things using words I understand and being patient with me.

I want the people I love to be happy and cared for and in thriving relationships. I want everyone to have the kind of love that my parents did (do? did? help me out here) to kiss each other after work, to play footsie under the table after 25 years of marriage, to be able to fight and still come together. Don’t we all deserve this in a relationship?

So, yes, I’m a complete cry-baby when relationships bust up.

This made that job I had working with the family law lawyer very difficult – mostly separations and divorces, give me Estate Law any day.

And yes, she told me not to worry about her and we both accept that I am going to worry.

On the upside – she is doing the right thing. You can only fight for a relationship by yourself for so long. I know exactly how this is. This is a good thing. Sometimes some relationships just run their course. Sometimes you either fall together or your fall apart.

Sometimes you have to re-focus and ask “What would make me happy?” and be prepared to answer honestly.

Another upside – one of my colleagues brought me some chai. Little bit of sweet, just enough milk. It was lovely and surprising. It was just such a nice surprise – I almost cried I was so happy. Cared for.

This post could have been titled “Cry baby Monday”.

Additional upside – that radio station played David Bowie’s “Let Dance”. I love that song. It makes me feel so cool. Connected.

Also, I bought a gas cap for my car  – where did the old one go? – and found out that I don’t need an appointment to get the car’s oil changed, and I was all nervous about phoning and making an appointment. Gesh – all that wasted emotion!

Packing, not packing

Off on the trip on Thursday – maps all at the ready, friend called and times confirmed.

Turkey sandwich with iced tea on the menu for lunch. Picking up friend’s fav fudge on the way there too.

Doing some laundry – I’m not even partially packed!

Ok, partially packed. The books, all new, are in the trunk.

The maps are readyreadyready and I’m…so excited.

The door closed behind me and I felt something drop from my shoulders, some funny sort of tension, that feeling that you get when you body and mind are saying “please relax, please slow down, please find some time and PLAY a little”.

I’m so happy – looking forward to hikes and movies and conversation and meeting the new puppy. Unplugging and…sleeping. Sleeping. SLEEPING.

Ban on alarm clocks, I am going to sleep until my body says “No more!” or until it is dinner time.

Wow. I am ready for this mini-vacation.

In the news

I wish my imagination was as interesting as reality.

They are going to use human hair to soak up the oil spill.  Collected hair is stuffed in tights or made into mats and then put into the oil spill. You can find more about it by googling Matter of Trust. This is oddest and most interesting thing I’ve read in a couple of days.

I finally understand what people mean by a car purring.  My car purred all the way home. It made me feel awesome – this lovely example of technology, making this incredibly contented sound, all for me. What an ego boost. I think I’m falling in love my car…

It makes me feel kind of sick too. A bit of ecoguilt, a bit of $$-guilt and bit bad for using a means of transportation that admittedly kills a lot of animals. There was a raccoon on the ramp yesterday morning.

I also wonder if vegans are allowed to drive using oil and gas – ‘cuz you know oil and gas are from dinosaurs.  My brother didn’t have an answer to this. Then again, he isn’t any kind of vegan authority. Not even close. But, still if we can’t rely on our big brothers to have the answers – who can we rely on?

Veganism has been on my mind a lot recently. Mostly just trying, again, to understand it. I recently spent some time with a dear friend who is just about my favourite moral vegan – that is, vegan due to reasons of morality and not health concerns or economic concerns. I think there is a difference. I have always been fascinated by moral vegans, ‘cuz moral ethics pretty much have me stumped.

In an ethics and environment course, I got really bogged down in the “nature as intrinsically valuable” thing. I just couldn’t figure, I still can’t figure out how to make it work. Even with the Buddhist slant.

I think the worst part is knowing that there is intrinsic value but not being able to put words to it.

You know what I’m talking about here.

What I learned today: I’m on the right track with my minute taking.

What else I learned today: A cool new phone makes everything better.

I am finally caught up on my ironing!  Yay!

Hey, in just a few minutes I’m watching my brother’s Gowan DVD – 25 years after (You’re a) Strange Animal.  Woo-eee!

Another thing I learned: WordPress thinks “Gowan” is a spelling error!  For shame, WordPress, for shame!